How to Stop Clinging to Your Old Stories
Have you ever felt so tired you don’t know how you can possibly move? The kind of tiredness that overcomes your entire way of being, it’s overwhelming. Then you realise its not mere exhaustion, it’s the grey fog that comes from being sick of yourself. You feel overwhelmed from repeating the same old negative stories and experiences over and over again. You realise you have been clinging to these past stories and it isn’t fun. It’s draining.
Are you ready to shift, to grow, to dance into a new way of being?
You can do this. It starts with a choice. It’s about simply allowing yourself to show up differently. To change your conditioning and reprogram how you see yourself and your place in the world because ultimately that is what it all comes down to.
BLAMING THE PAST
For far too long I blamed others for feeling tired. I felt so sick of everyone, full of resentment. When I finally looked in the mirror I realised I was sick of myself, I was being a victim, and enabling my past experiences to dictate how I felt in the now.
What are you clinging to?
I used to think everyone was out to get me, that I was rejected by people for no reason, and I was angry about it! I did a lot of soul searching and when I reflected on this rejection I realised I was showing up as my low, low, lower self. I partied way too much and used alcohol as my confidence booster, but unfortunately, it turned me into a maniac, and its no wonder I felt so isolated. I was not tapped into my highest potential. I was tapped out. For years I clung onto these stories of rejection, blame and shame, they still rear their heads sometimes, and the question I get to ask myself is ‘What is clinging to this story providing for me’?
The thing is, this story has taken care of something for me. It’s served me deeply. How can that be? Well, let’s look at it a little more closely. I felt rejected by everyone, now that is a safe story. Why? Well, by believing that I was rejected, and holding on to resentment towards those I felt had rejected me I could actually experience a deep sense of safety. Can you see how comforting that could be? To push the blame onto other people so I didn’t have to take ownership for my own actions, and how I felt. I could feel sorry for myself, and allow myself to be wrapped up in self-pity. This shifted the blame onto other people and allowed me to avoid any responsibility for my actions.
Of course, now I take full responsibility. It was a huge turning point in my life. Clinging to that old story did not serve me at all and so I made a choice to let go and shift to a more useful way of being. RESPONSIBILITY. I got sober, started tuning into my intuition and released the story. You can release old programming through things like meditation, journalling, dance, somatic bodywork, emotional freedom technique etc. Journalling is definitely one of my favourite ways to because I can first identify and face off with my old programming: everyone rejected me, and then I can identify what it provided for me: self-pity and an opportunity to avoid responsibility; and finally I can journal on other possible choices for a new way of being: what inspired actions could I take, and how could I embody responsibility? Through sobriety, and committing to staying present and taking daily inspired action towards my dreams.
Sounds simple right? It is! That’s the thing, once you identify what you’ve been clinging to you can let it go with ease.
Let me give you another example, now this one is fresh, and something I am still allowing to unfold.
I’ve been clinging to the pain I’ve been experiencing in my pregnancy. I’m currently 30 weeks pregnant, I thought my first pregnancy was tough, but this experience has felt so much worse.
It hasn’t been easy. I was vomiting after every meal until about 20 weeks.
My body has been aching for weeks. Tightest hips and sciatica ever, yes there has been hobbling.
My placenta is covering my cervix so I may have to have a caesarean if it doesn’t move. I will know more at my 34-week scan. I experienced so much fear around this. And I kept it held inside. Bottled up. I created this story that not having a natural birth (like I did with my first) made me less of a mum, less of a woman even. Not even close to true (I believe all women are superheroes), but I was so attached to a having natural delivery that I believed it.
I had to go to the hospital for spotting and they checked on baby’s heartbeat and movement, I created another story that my body was not a safe space for my baby to grow, even though everything at the hospital went well.
Then I got a cough and it became so bad that I had trouble breathing for days. A mix of a cough and baby compacting my lungs made catching my breath feel extremely laboured. I’d find myself having to hold onto things to get my breath back, it was a real struggle.
A NEW WAY OF BEING
Here’s the thing. I have been holding onto these stories and experiences of pain. Allowing them to weigh me down and affect my way of being. I’ve been leaning into the discomfort which has been so detrimental. It’s made it all so much worse. Then today I pulled this card from the Work Your Light Deck by Rebecca Campbell as a journalling prompt, and I journalled it out, starting with the question, why did I need this card? Of course, the answer was so I could release the story of my current experience and reframe to a new story.
And guess what! In half an hour I shifted it, by simply by journalling it out. Yes, I’m still experiencing a cough, but it is so much better. I’ve barely felt breathless since. My focus has shifted and I am leaning into how I can feel well and what I can do to nurture my body and soul.
Let me add that I am not a medical professional, so if you are unwell please consult a licensed medical practitioner. I am sharing my experience and what has been useful for me. Also, be aware it may take longer than 30 minutes to release an old story, it could take multiple sessions of journalling, Just stick with it, trust in the process, and see what shifts.
It’s a choice. And choosing a more empowering story (even when it may not feel automatic initially) creates real shifts. What are you willing to release? If something isn’t useful, lean somewhere else.
Face off with it and own it. Take responsibility.
Release, release, release.
I invite you to really dive into this. What comes up could be really surprising for you, and it could also be extremely revealing. Once you identify what is holding you back you really can release and shift into a new way of being.
Let me know in the comments what you have been clinging to and any breakthroughs you have uncovered in releasing it