How to Reconnect with Your Authentic Self
AUTHENTICITY AS ART
How do you reconnect with your authentic self? Authenticity is like an art form, a craft that can be hard to see. Sometimes as mums we let go of our true self which can be damaging to our self-worth. We show up all smiles aiming to please and we forget to trust ourselves and do what makes us happy. It’s all well and good you might say, we have little ones to look after. They come first. But what if they don’t. Please put on your oxygen mask before you put on your little ones. That’s what the airlines tell us and it’s often referenced for good reason. How can we possibly help anyone else if we can’t help ourselves first! This is crucial. We are mums and we feel deeply that we are here to serve our children and we are but we can’t do it if we don’t serve ourselves first.
WHAT IS SELF-CARE?
This is where self-care comes in. Not self-care where we do what we think we should do but real self-care the kind that nourishes our soul. I want to clarify too, self-care is not caring for your appearance or making sure you look the part. Personally, I think cultivating your appearance so that you can impress other people is a form of self-hate. Yep, I said it. I am all for makeup and gorgeous clothes, but only when it comes from a place of self-love and doing it to nurture your soul, for yourself. Self-care is a deeply personal thing and when you tune into how it looks for you, you reconnect with your authentic self.
So how do you know what that is? You can look at generic lists (or my self-care guide) for ideas or you can simply go within and connect to your intuition for the answers. What lights you up? What relaxes you? I’m going to put this out there and let you know right now that your Friday night glass of wine is not really self-care, sure a glass of red can feel calming but alcohol is a depressant so for the purposes of this exploration I want you to skip the alcohol and find other authentic ways of connecting to you and establishing those self-care rituals. Here are a few hints to guide you, maybe it would feel good to journal or meditate on these questions:
- Does it make you feel joyful?
Is it calming?
- Is it healthy?
- How does it make you feel after?
The last question is crucial. A truly aligned self-care practice should have lasting effects. It needs to ground you and afterward instill feelings of calm and clarity. You get to embody this. Everyone is different though. Self-care for me involves my morning daily rituals where I jump between journalling, meditation, tarot, yoga, tapping (EFT), oracle reading. And yes some days I resist them because as mums that is what we do we always think there is something more important out there to do, but honestly, there’s not.
SELF-CARE IS MEDICINE
Self-care is like medicine, it gets you back in the game. Here’s the thing once you start doing it regularly you may not notice its effects until you skip and day and then it feels like the kids had sugar for dinner, bouncing off the walls and you are struggling through a hangover. This is what happens for me when I don’t meditate. But I want to point out something too. You don’t have to meditate or journal. Maybe those things won’t feel of service to you right now. Maybe your self-care is going for a run, taking a poetry class or going horse riding. Yes, you get to jump back on the horse literally. It doesn’t matter what it is if it’s truly healthy for your mind and body and allows you to connect back to you. If you can’t think of anything reflect on your childhood – what brought you joy? What brought you peace? Find that thing (maybe it’s coloring in?) and go do that.
Time. Yep, I know you’re a mum – you have no time. I’m a mum too. But here’s the thing, time is one of the biggest excuses out there, you do have it. It may just be that you are prioritising other things. You get to look at that. Part of self-care is making time for you. That is perfect. (Check out my blog post on how to be the perfect mum). 5 minutes a day can work. I would aim for at least half an hour. If you have to, get up earlier or ask your hubby to step in. Do it from a place of love and explain why this will help you, you can even offer to do the same for him so both your needs are taken care of.
So how does self-care tie into authenticity? Well, it sets you free from faking that everything is okay, and allows you to reconnect with your true self. When you start tuning in and doing what lights you up, your soul smiles. She sees you as I do.
SELF-CARE AND AUTHENTICITY
As a mum, we often wear these masks that we’ve got this and everything is perfect when inside we feel lost, alone and purposeless. That’s why self-care is so important because it reconnects us back to our authentic self and the purposeless starts to become purposeful. We can start to glimpse our former (pre-child) self with hopes and dreams and then as we tune into our intuition we can start to embody the woman we thought we had lost. Once you start to connect with that part of you, the real one who remembers how much she loves creative writing or … insert hobby here We can start leading by example and teach our kids to lean into their dreams. Self-care is about deeply connecting to what feels good for you, in your very core and when you really connect to that you start to look at life differently. You shift into gratitude, you feel more peaceful, happy for no reason and like you can handle anything your kids (or life) throw at you. Sounds like superwoman hey, well that superwoman is your authentic self, winking at you.