How to be the Perfect Mum
HOW TO BE THE PERFECT MUM
WHAT IS PERFECT?
We all strive to be the perfect mum. But what is perfect? According to the Oxford dictionary, perfect is:
Having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics; as good as it is possible to be.
It seems like the impossibly unachievable feat yet most mums strive to be it. P E R F E C T.
What comes to mind is the mum who potty trains their kid by 1, who gets them to eat fruit and veg every day and makes all their healthy snacks from scratch, with a well planned day full of craft activities and outings around their perfectly scheduled and coordinated nap times. This is amazing if it fits you, but if it doesn’t the pressure of trying to wear all the hats can be destructive to our health and way of being, and ultimately it can have a detrimental effect on our parenting. If this happens we can grow resentful towards our kids and ultimately be less present with them.
We live in a society that lives by certain cultural norms. The way we see the world is shaped by our demographics; work, school, family, neighbourhood, heritage, socioeconomic status, the list goes on. Every experience we have, the stories we are told, how we are raised, they become reference points that we live from. Their standards directly influence how we show up in the world. They are the markers for the lens through which we see and can have a powerful effect. We are influenced by marketing, movies, and media. We see our friends on social media and what we observe we take in. We judge others, and then we judge ourselves, as better or worse than our “ideal standard” and this can create pressure to reach standards that don’t necessarily mesh with who we are and our inherent way of being.
But what if this idea of perfection is just an illusion? What if it could be something else entirely? What if we took away the shoulds? What if we let go of some of the old stories that aren’t serving us?
WHAT COULD PERFECT BE?
What if you made perfect, perfectly you. What if instead of trying to embody the Mumma you think you should be you give yourself a break and allow yourself to feel and follow what comes naturally. There is nobody more perfect at being a Mumma to your little one than you.
Remember this: you know what to do.
Trusting yourself is the crucial key. Go within instead of out for the answers. Remember you are the wisdom you need. It literally pulses through you. Your wisdom starts in your gut. It is your intuition. Your soul knows the way.
Intuition involves a lack of rational and logical thinking. It’s meaning come from the Latin “to look within” It’s a stream of our perception, but its based on our inner knowing rather than an awareness of our immediate environment. It’s not created by conscious thought, it’s a subconscious level of awareness, our stories and interpretations from a place deep within us.
Our intuition will guide us. It will tell us how to be the perfect mum. When you feel overwhelmed and the external noise is too much, stop. Find a quiet place, hide in your pantry if you have to. Take a few deep breaths and tune in. If you have a question you want guidance to allow it to rise to the surface, and then let go of your thoughts. Focus on your breath, and eradicate the need to think of an answer, the answer will come, feel it in your body. Your intuition will feel light and aligned. Sometimes an answer will come and it won’t be what you expected, it may come later, a random download or idea that you never considered before. Trust it, and beautiful shifts will start to occur.
HOW TO BE THE PERFECT MUM
If you want to pat your baby to sleep at night, that is perfect.
If you want to kiss them on the head, turn off the light and walk out of the room, that is perfect.
If you want to get dressed up and take them out all day, that is perfect.
If you want to stay at home all day in your pyjamas, that is perfect.
If you want to breastfeed, that is perfect.
If you want to bottle feed, that is perfect.
Whatever you do, if it feels right, and you are being you, that is perfect.
Let your feelings guide you. If it feels heavy or makes you nervous, then let it go. Trust your feelings and try something else, that is perfect.
Remember you know what you need to do, and you get to FEEL that, that is perfect.
You are enough just as you are, it all comes back to this. You are everything you have been looking for. You are perfect, just as you are.
Don’t let others judge you and don’t judge yourself. Where you are at, right now, that is perfect.
Being a mother who loves your child but who also loves yourself unconditionally, that is perfect.
You can stay at home, or you can go back to work. It is all perfect.
On the days when you feel overwhelmed let the dishes sit in the sink, that is perfect.
If you need to cry, cry. Don’t hide your truth from your baby let them see you. Be vulnerable, that is perfect.
Your raw, messy motherhood. THAT IS PERFECT.
Your craft and meal planning like a boss days, they are perfect.
Your movie and frozen pizza pyjama days, they are perfect.
Being a mum who is unashamedly you. That is the most perfect thing of all.
Being the perfect mum isn’t about some ideal standards, or what you think you should do, it is about being you, and accepting yourself fully, loving yourself and how you are showing up without judgement, even when your ego wants you to feel shame and like you are messing it all up. Being the perfect mum is about being you. All day, every damn day.
YOU ARE THE PERFECT MUM FOR YOUR LITTLE ONES, THAT IS WHY THEY CHOSE YOU.
If you want to support your journey to being the perfect mum, grab you free self-care guide by clicking the image below.